Wobbly Confessions

Wednesday is quickly becoming my favorite day of the week for a link up sesh, despite the fact that we get to call it Hump Day. Thanks for helping to keep it classy, one confession at a time, Vodka Girl.

I confess...Nyke and I haven't gotten out of bed today yet. There is something about a nice warm bottle and the movie Tangled that just has us being extra lazy stuck and snuggled up. We'll put our big boy pants on and start the day eventually here...

I confess...as much as I love birthdays and all of the drinking games celebrations that go along with them, I don't get as excited to help a customer at the restaurant celebrate them. I am positive any other servers out there feel my pain. "We have a birthday boy at the table tonight!" "Oh, you dooo? How awesome...I can't wait to round up five servers on a busy Friday night who have a sh*t ton of other things to do to come yell a Yeeeee Haaaawww chant for you."

I confess...I suffer from extreme road rage. But I will never flip someone the bird. That happened to me once. And it, of course, was not even close to being my fault! I was so unbelievably offended I followed them home for five miles and screamed up the drive way and rear ended their behind so hard that they smashed into their garage. Okay, so I didn't actually do that, but I was tempted to. It would have taught her a lesson, right?

I confess... I am trying to teach my child how to do the wobble and the stanky leg dances...we've almost mastered the dougie. And let me tell you, he could teach the h*ll out of it to you. Does that make me a ratchet? Maybe. But does it make my son more educated in the cultures of dance? You bet it does.

I confess...I ate Oreos for breakfast. And I may or may not have shared one with my munchkin. You be the judge.

I confess...I can never go into the liquor store to buy only one bottle of wine, I always come out with at least two. The struggle is real people. Even though I may look and sound like an alcoholic, I am simply just stocking up on that delicious drink in the name of potential good company. I thought that's what every Wino does?  No good or bad friend ever says no to a bottle glass of wine date!

I confess...I put off paying my medical bills secretly hoping that they will disappear. Since I am now one last past due balance away from a call from a Credit Collections Bureau, I must spend the rest of my afternoon listening to raunchy elevator music. I anticipate being on hold for endless hours, because they are trying to spite me for waiting so long to call in and pay up. Come on, like those Doctors don't have enough money already...

Wish me luck, I know i'll need it. Especially when I have this monster to keep track of...